I know I've got some magic buried deep in my heart.

Today my mom and I went to Books, Beans, and Candles, a pagan shop at Five Points where Charity and I went on our many adventures last night. Last night I bought a Celtic ring (my heart ring was beat up and was beginning to lose its gemstones, so it's in the "if I need to wear something that matches an outfit, I'll wear this one" pile) and a blue Meditation candle. Today I bought four Altar candles (one for each direction for those unfamiliar with Wicca), four candleholders for said candles, peppermint essential oil to breathe better at night, and a book, Celtic Magic by D.J. Conway, a popular and knowledgeable expert on Wicca. I'm getting back into practicing Wicca, and have decided to follow the Celtic pantheon.

However, this entry isn't just about my shopping endeavors with Mom. The Wiccan topic ties in with what I'm about to talk about next - I promise.

Everytime I see Jeremy Auvil, I'm filled with indescribable rage. I'm a Leo; we hold grudges, we have fiery tempers, and are extremely passionate about what we believe in. About a year and half ago (though most my readers know this), Jeremy personally offended me by talking about me behind my back to the rest of the youth as well as some college-age students who are Joseph's friends, about my religious stance. I'm used to the assumption that Wiccans are Satanists (sidenote: Satanists don't worship the devil, by the way - reading about Satanism is pretty interesting, but the name is misleading). In fact, Charity (who is also a Wiccan) had a roommate this past semester who, being a Buddhist, was cool with Charity's beliefs, but near the end of the semester asked if we (Wiccans) sacrifice cats.

?!

Charity responded with a hilarious (and true), "Not at all. Actually we're known for being cat people." Now it's a running joke between us that we sacrifice kittens and dance naked under the moon chanting in ancient languages. Levia, my former (thank god!) roommate, was a "Wiccan" (one of those we say is one just to impress people/when it's convenient) and said she believes in Santa Claus and his existence on another astral plane. While hilarious, I'm not one to judge, so Charity and I just laugh and go on with our lives. Once Charity wished Levia a happy or blessed Mabon (pronounced Ma-bun, or Mah-bun, in all the texts I've read) and Levia said, "It's pronounced Ma-boooooon" so we joke about that also. Mabon is a Lesser Sabbat, meaning it falls on an equinox/solstice and is the astronomical beginning of a season. Have I thoroughly confused people here? Anyway, the point is - Charity was being nice, and Levia pretentiously corrected her. What nerve, but anyway, this isn't a grudge post (except for Jeremy) so I'm done with that subject - just had to get the fact that not all Wiccans are like Levia and my cousin's girlfriend (who's almost twice his age... she's thirty and he's eighteen - ...yeah), who are convinced "all Christians hate Wiccans."

Actually, no.

Joseph's family is entirely Christian (I think entirely? the ones I've met at least?), and don't look down on me because I'm Wiccan (the ones who know it at least, and I'm pretty sure the ones who don't know it wouldn't think differently of me). I don't parade the fact that I'm Wiccan around, but I also don't deny it and shove it in a corner until it's "safe." I love going to churches. I love hearing Christian sermons, because I believe many of the messages in the Bible are ones everyone should follow with their hearts. Love thy neighbor; do unto others and you would have them do unto you - my dad lived by those. If I'm helping with VBS, of course I'll tell children of God's love to them, because I believe in a God who loves. I believe in a Goddess who loves, too. I believe seeds should be planted in these kids to love one another.

Back to my being Wiccan - people can either accept it, or they can turn away, and I won't be at any loss. However, Jeremy has pushed my buttons in a way no one else has. Perhaps I'm fortunate, and none of my friends in school were freaked by my religious choice when they learned of it. My dear friend Laura, who's very, very Christian, said, "Well, I don't really agree with your views, but of course you're still my friend, and I'm not going to think differently of you because we're different." Isn't that what a true Christian does?

Sure, Jeremy acts civilized to me. I'll give him that. But telling Joseph's friends who really don't care what I am just grinds my gears, if you'll allow me to borrow the expression from our favorite Peter Griffin. How immature can one get? Joseph never said anything to him as far as I know, which irked me, but what can you really do to a man of thirty or whatever he is? If he wants to dwell on the fact that I believe in a different set of rules and explanations for the earth than he does, then so be it. I wish no harm on him, and as long as he's civilized to me, I'll be civilized back. But really, are we back in grammar school? I didn't think so.

As John Davis of Huntsville said in the Birmingham News in response to the Christian protestors at the Gay Pride Parade (whom Charity and I passed and laughed many, many times), "If you truly love people, you should extend that love, not hate."

He may have gotten better about it, but if not, I hope Jeremy Auvil finds that talking about people behind their backs just because their religion may differ from his is a tactic that will earn him no respect from many. If he has done so, I'm willing to forgive. I just wish he'd tell me face-to-face that he's sorry he ever did it. Isn't that what grown-ups do?

But my priest says, "You ain't savin' no souls"
My father says, "You ain't makin' any money"
My doctor says, "You just took it to the limit"
And here I stand with this sword in my hand.
-Tori Amos, "Take to the Sky"