I am Jack's irrationally premature thoughts about children.

I often think about where I'll be in the next ten (or even five) years. Married? With children? Childless, traveling around the globe? Settled into a comfy cottage?

But it's only when I see pictures of families with children or a child that I start thinking about what I want my nuclear family to comprise of. Of course, a significant other. But I know that I do want at least one child one day. For the longest time, I didn't. But when I was around fifteen, I began realizing that I had that feeling that I was meant to be a mother. Not that that was the only thing I would do - there's nothing wrong with stay-at-home moms, of course - but I want to work, to research or teach, or something.

So, there begs the question of: only child, or more than one?

Sometimes, I feel like I'll want one of each sex (if I can control that - I'm of the opinion that it's more fun to not find out the sex until birth, mostly because I absolutely love the story of my dad being convinced I was a girl on the sonograms but my mom felt like I was a boy - turns out, obviously, that my dad was right) to see what the experience is like - girls vs. boys. But what if I have an only child? I'll probably want her to be a girl, honestly. While I sometimes hate(d) being a girl, I just feel like I'd be able to reach a girl more. But they'll be my child either way, so surely the bond will be the same.

I liked being an only child. I was spoiled - but not the bad way, as in "I HAVE TO GET WHAT I WANT ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT OF THE TIME OR I'M GOING TO THROW A TANTRUM", although I did have a few tantrums as all children are wont to do. I came up with rather creative ways to amuse myself, many of which included playing with scraps of wood or toys my dad would make from wood. Every time I think about my childhood, I have such wonderful memories. It was wonderful having a patternmaker as a father. He loved crafting stuff, and he was great at it. Such simple things brought such fun to my early days. I think Joseph's side of the family can relate. :)

But, I like the closeness siblings have (generally speaking, of course!). My friend Charity has three siblings, and they are incredibly close, though there's a ten-year difference between her (the oldest) and the youngest. My mother's siblings went through many rough patches, but are incredibly close now. A part of me always yearned for a sibling for that close relationship. But I love having my moments of solitude. I busied myself with books as well, and I think with a sibling that would have been harder.

So, no, I do not know what I have in mind for number of children. And that's certainly okay - I'm in no hurry.

But it's fun to think about.