Throwing up in front of the class is probably not the best thing to do.

So, today was my group's presentation for COMS 102. I seriously thought I was going to lose my breakfast as I stood in front of the class. Luckily, I didn't. But I thought about it. My body thought about it.

Our presentation was on MOG, or the Montevallo Organization of Gaming. Why do I care about the group? Is it just because I love playing video games? Is it because you could often find Joseph and me on Halo 2 two summers (or was it one summer? Time flies!) ago until like one AM. Luckily we're past the "I got the sniper rifle, let's kill these [insert derogatory term here]" stage, but I (and he, of course) still enjoy video games. I'm playing through Ocarina of Time at the moment, for what is possibly my sixth time.

I digress.

No, I don't care about the group just because I game. I'm an officer. Not just an officer, but an officer with power. I'm the treasurer. While my bank account could beg to differ, I really am good at budgeting, especially when I have a group's interest in mind/at hand. I'm very reasonable, and I can do the basic math while keeping, as I said, the group's interest at mind. To be treasurer or president of MOG, one must have at least 12 hours of credit at the university. I have 34, so of course I was eligible, but I still consider it to be a position of 'privilege.'

Why, then, was I so nervous?

I don't even know. I spoke in front of my class before, in the beginning of the year when we had to give a 3-minute speech that shared something about yourself to the class. I chose epilepsy and its effect on me. I probably should've saved that for the final speech.

How is it, then, that I could get up and talk for ten minutes at my dad's service (which was exactly one year ago today), but be stressing out so much about a speech that is on an organization I have been deeply involved in for going on two years now? I was one of the ones staying until 12am last year playing Dungeons & Dragons. I absolutely love Rock Band. I love Guitar Hero. I love Wario Ware. Why was I freaking out?

Was it because I wasn't talking about why MOG is awesome? Maybe. Was it because things like my dad's service wasn't being graded? Even our introductory speech was ungraded. Was it because I knew my dad and had eighteen years of history with him? Probably. Was it because I was alone? Yeah, I think so. I'm terrible at working with a group. I don't mind people, but I function so, so much better on my own.

Either way, it's over with. But I'm still nauseated.

I think I'll clean.